And the last handle goes to…
Brian Becker from Tequesta, FL. A fitting end to our handle giveaway, this stuff is really funny. Here are his ideas. If you entered and weren't picked, it doesn't mean you weren't funny, it's just someone else was more funny. And you may still see your name in lights though, I have plans for all of your ideas! We're out of handles, but keep checking back because surely we'll have more stuff to give away soon. As always, thanks for reading! Now enjoy Brian's suggestions.
1. Use it as a weapon. Have you ever tried to fight somebody using anything wakeskate related? it's kinda hard. You can swing your board at them but a wakeskate has a lot of wind resistance and is quite easy to dodge. Theres not much you can do with a vest, they float, are kinda awkward, and are basically made to save lives instead of ruin them. This is not the case with an old handle, you can beat the sh*t out of somebody with an old handle. Just place it in your hand and give it a nice downward swing directed at whatever person, place, or thing you want to impair. A huge benefit of this is that most handles look pretty cool, so you can deliver a beatdown and look legit as you do it. If you have to assault and batter somebody you may as well do it right.
2. Make a pipe out of it. Some will laugh at the idea, some will go grab their old handles. Eventually everyone will realize the future in wakeskate technology has nothing to do with designing new products but just trying to figure out how to smoke out of the old ones.
3. Lasso. One time when some kid on a skimboard tried to spray my boat i swung my handle around my head like a lasso and scared the little commie away. I then pondered the many uses of a handle/lasso combo and how awesomely effective they could be. Why waste time trying to meet girls on myspace or facebook when you could just lasso them? Seriously, what girl doesn't get turned on when some random guy throws a handle around her neck and violently drags her towards him. The answer, no girl.
4. Use it to fraud people on ebay. MY handle has been used to tow every pro wakeskater ever, cures cancer, and is interchangeble between boats. Make me an offer.
5. Stuff it down your pants. "Is that a throbbing fifteen inch wakeskate handle in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?" This idea is cheap, effective, and works a hell of a lot better than a lasso at getting girls. You will probably be swarmed by so many beautiful women that you wont even be able to beat them off of you with your old handle, that you turned into a pipe, you useless burnout.