James Balzer is by far one of our all time favorites. This swimsuit speaks volumes about his personality, as well as his balz, but we’re most concerned with the first part. He’s a father, a husband, a professional wakeskater, and most importantly he’s a riot. For this reason we caught up with him to find out what the hell happened in his life to make him this way. We’re guessing the George Strait concert may have triggered the turn in his life.

 

James, tell us about your…

 

First Mustache:

My first hairy one started at lake Powell inspired by Aaron Reed.

 

First Tattoo:

It’s an “ER” on the inside of my thigh that way if I’m standing there without my shorts it will say “balzER” (disclaimer: I haven’t got it yet).

 

First Child:

River Balzer. He’s and instagram sensation. #rivstagram.

 

 “How in the world did I end up with this guy for a dad…!?” – River Balzer

 

First concert:

George Strait. I set the bar pretty high on concerts.

 

First motorized vehicle:

A Ford f150 that was jacked to the moon. It was soo pretty when I got it, but a toy in the hands of a teen is never good.

 

First sexual encounter:

My wedding night which was obviously the best 48 seconds of my life.

 

James and wife CandyBalz a.k.a. “The first encounter.”

 

First CD:

Big shiny tunes 5. It was the worst birthday present ever because I only had a cassette player.

 

First encounter with the law:

Well aside from the monthly speeding tickets I’ve been on the good side of the fuzz.

 

First flip on a wakeboard:

The tantrum for sure and let me tell you I threw a major tantrum once I finally stomped it. I was so pumped!

 

First flip on a wakeskate:

The kickflip on try #1549. It didn’t come easy.

 

First Brostock:

I’ve been there since the first year. Brostock is crazy no matter what year it is.

 

James boosting in Clermont, FL off of what seems to be a 4 foot tall wake. 

 

First time you got knocked out:

Luckily I’ve never been KO’ed…I’m more of a break your legs kind of guy. I guess I have a really strong brain.