February 20th, 2009 by admin

What Would Jesus Do? Not to get all zealous on you here, but the other day I asked myself this question, What Would Jesus Do? And as is supposed to happen, I got my answer. He’d wakeskate. Obviously.

Why wouldn’t he? Can you imagine if only Thomas Horrell and Scott Byerly had been around to pioneer wakeskating in the year AD 15 when Jesus was just a grom? He’d be out on the water every day. He wouldn’t need a boat or PWC. He would literally skateboard on the water. While all the apostles were stuck with the 30% of the earth not covered with the stuff, Jesus would have endless glass all to himself.

Other shredders would probably get jealous and say it wasn’t fair how Jesus could walk on water and they couldn’t, but then Jesus would just be like “Thou shalt not covet thy savior’s skillz, bru” and then they’d quiet down.

Not only would Jesus love wakeskating, but he would be the best in the world. When he fell there would be no waiting for the boat to come around. He’d just walk over, pick up his board, and try again. Watch out Brian Grubb, Nick Taylor and Reed Hansen, Jesus would take your sponsors.

But you know what would be frustrating? Trying to get trick tips from the Man. Cause you’d be all like “Dang Jesus!” (you’d have to say “dang” cause otherwise Jesus would get all up in your face about using his name in vain). So ya, you’d be like “Dang Jesus! How’d you do that sick varial heelflip?” And Jesus would tell you some parable about the Hebrews in the land of Egypt and expect you to interpret it to discover it’s meaning. And you’d be like “Jesus Christ! Can’t you just tell me how to do the trick?”

But he wouldn’t cause that’s not his style.

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