FOR IMMEDIATE REALEASE – Frustrated with the blatant misuse of stimulus money by the banks and insurance giant AIG, the Obama administration has decided to use the allotted bail out funds to keep art alive. The first recipient of a million-dollar bail out is Obscura Staff photographer Bryan “Bear” Soderlind. Mr. Soderlind was chosen for not only his artistry, but as he is the last remaining action sports photographer shooting exclusively film.
Also in consideration for the bail out was snowboard photographer Tim Zimmerman, who was heard saying, “You know what I like about film? Nothing.” Upon being shown Mr. Soderlind’s work, Mr. Zimmerman said, “Ok, that guy is an artist,” and rescinded his proposal.
A white house spokesperson said, “Mr. Obama is a big fan of art, and is actually a casual photographer himself, so it seemed logical that the this bail out would go to a true photographic artist such as Mr. Soderlind. It is also a little known fact that Mr. Obama has a collection of rare Cassette flat decks stored in the Oval office.”
Upon hearing of his selection, Mr. Soderlind announced he was planning to finally embark on the telescopic photography project he’d been planning. “The flight into outerspace was really the biggest hang up, but now with this funding, I’ll be able to show Danny Hampson’s frontside big spins in a way no one has ever seen before!”
Mr. Soderlind has also announced that now that he is rich, he will be giving all of his images to Alliance Wakeskate for free. Alliance Wakeskate editor Brooke Geery was excited by the announcement. “Man, I hope he doesn’t find out that I voted for JAM,” Ms. Geery said.