The Bejing Olympics kick off tonight and what better way to celebrate than make jokes at the Olympics' expense? In honor of 8/8/08 we present all the reasons wakeskating would be a better Olympic sport than what they’ve got now. Enjoy.
1. Swimming is the biggest story this year. Well wakeskaters swim! If the audience wants to see swimming, just ban vests and omit the pick up boat. Geez.
2. Wakeskaters have better hair and tans than most Olympic athletes. The teenage girl audience would increase and NBC would love that!
3. Most good wakeskaters are American. More chance to bring the gold home to the good old USA.
4. But… Dieter Humpsch would give South Africa a fighting chance at a metal.
5. It’s more interesting than curling. It could be summer’s sport that no one understands.
6. Ice skating is really popular. Wakeskating could be marketed as “melted ice skating,” and would quickly become the most popular sport.
7. Cheap to put on. It’s not like they have to dig a lake or anything, just put a rickety pool gap in the parking lot. Use and winch and there are no worries about high gas prices either. It worked for X Games, well, once anyway.
8. Pollution in Bejing seems to be a problem for many of the professional athletes worried about their lungs. But not for wakeskaters. Have you seen the water in most winch gaps?
9. An excuse to add motor sports to the Olympics. Maybe one event could be a boat race and whoever holds on the longest behind the boat wins.
10. Steroid scandals? Come on, the most scandalous thing in wakeskating is whether people use fins or not. It’s good, clean fun for the whole family.