melissa gas can

10 Reason’s You Haven’t Been Invited Back on the Boat:

(Readers: take this as a guide of all the things NOT to do when you go boating with someone new…Abide by the rules and you’ll find your phone blowing up with invites to go ride!)

1. A half full can of gas!? Seriously? What did you save like $3.79? “the pump was so slow man I was over it…I’ll hit you back next time.” No you won’t.

2. If you weren’t on your phone the whole time you would have realized that you were turning THE ENTIRE TIME I rode.

3. You know that fishing boat you “didn’t see?” Well that guy happens to live at the end of my street and he just did a burnout in my front yard…

4. Who wears tennis shoes in the boat, especially after stepping in dog crap?

5. I don’t know who made those red shorts you were wearing, but the driver’s seat has been pink ever since.

6. That’s cool that you are interested in protecting yourself from the sun, but next time put the cap back on the bottle before you toss it on the carpet.

7. Wakeboarding is about hanging out on the boat with your friends, not riding and then “can you drop me at the dock I have to get going” right in the middle of someone elses session.

8. No I don’t want to buy any vitamins.

9. The next time you spraypaint stencils on the bottom of your board, make sure it’s dry before throwing your board on the back seat.

10. Your buddy who came with you “just to watch” but then ended up taking a “super quick one” has been hitting me up on the facebook for free gear ever since. I guess the pull wasn’t enough?