Ballin On A Budget: Gas
You think you’re the only person out there who is cringing at the idea of paying five bucks for a gallon of gas? You’re not! As gas prices rise (not to mention the general cost of living), everyone will have to adapt to a new budget. What this does not mean is you have to stop being a baller. Ballin’ on a budget is a state of mind and lifestyle. Throughout the summer we’re gonna fill you in on some secrets to help your balling game. You know the old saying, “Don’t hate the player, hate the game!” Increase the amount of money you have and increase the amount of time you spend riding!
There are a couple of different scenarios that we will talk about in this edition of “Ballin On A Budget.”
Scenario 1: You Own a Boat. If you own a boat you’re clearly a baller, but sometimes staying a baller is half the challenge.
– Set up a clock or timer in your boat to regulate sets. When your buddy’s riding click a couple minutes off the timer to save that gas for you!
– No gas = No shred! Everyone says they want a quickie but that quickie just ate up three gallons that you could have used to ride.
– Limit the amount of guys allowed in your boat (no limit on ladies, though). Too much weight can cause your motor to burn unnecessary amounts of gas. Plus your bros aren’t as fun to look at and they want to ride more…
– Just ‘cause the pros put 5,000 pounds of ballast in their boat does not mean you need 5,000 pounds to go wake-to-wake. (4,999 pounds is all you need)
– Cruising around the lake is fun but if you’re not riding you’re just blowing dollar bills out your exhaust. Make your friends paddle the boat with supplied paddles you bought at Wal-Mart, a.k.a. Ballin’ on a Budget Headquarters.
– Invite your skinny friends to ride. The lighter and weaker they are the better. They won’t be able to ride long and when they do ride you won’t even know anyone is behind the boat.
Scenario 2: You Don’t Own A Boat!
– The common courtesy when taking a set behind a friend’s boat is to bring five gallons. Does your friend really check your can for five gallons? If you know you’re not gonna ride that long, or maybe you know your boat-owning-bro has been cutting the timer short on your sets in order to get more time for himself, just put 3.9 gallons in that can next time.
– Find a friend with a boat no one else wants to ride with because they need someone to pull them and they usually will offer to pull you as well!
– Find a rich friend whose family owns an oil company.
– When you’re driving to your friend’s house to ride keep an eye out for the cheapest gas station. Saving five pennies per gallon is a lot of gas over a full summer of riding.
– Bring some really hot girls out on your friend’s boat. The hot girls will distract him from the fact that you don’t have any gas.
Scenario 3: You have no friends with boats or rich friends you can convince to buy a boat
– Head to your closest cable park.
– No cable park? Build a winch out of your neighbor’s lawnmower. Ride for days on one gallon of gas.
– Stand on the public boat dock of your local lake with a sign that reads something like the following: “Will detail boat for a ride.”
– Start a Facebook group called “Third looking for friends” and then tell everyone to join it ‘cause you need a pull.
– Swim to the middle of the lake on a busy weekend and look like you’re drowning. When someone rescues you pull your board out and ask for a pull because you almost died.
– Stay glued to the Internet every free moment you have and comment on threads, forums, websites and everything else you find as much as possible, because we all know that talking online about wakeboarding makes you feel like you’re practically wakeboarding! (Not to mention it’s a huge ego boost to see yourself talk about wakeboarding a lot, right?!?)
In the next edition of Ballin on a Budget, we will talk about increasing your female to male ratio on the boat.