July 1st, 2011 by jeffmckee

 

July 4th weekend is here, and as a 25 year veteran of the Holiday, I’ve put together a list of helpful suggestions to maximize the fun and minimize the hangover.

 

Checklist:

 

Bring a water balloon launcher: For water balloons or for fireworks. Or for water balloons to put out the fire you started when you launched that last firecracker.

 

Put orange juice in your beer and have it for breakfast. It tastes great and doesn’t give you flashbacks of all those jager shots you did last night. You’ll be back in the game in no time…

 

Bring a life jacket for your dog: If your dog is anything like mine it hangs out on the bow of your boat like a hood ornament, and the last thing you need is a drowning dog that got knocked off the bow by a roaming candle or a flying can of Natural light.

 

Don’t do this: but if you do, definitely take a picture and send it to mail@alliancewake.com…

 

 

Wear Sunscreen: The chances of you getting drunk and falling asleep on an inner tube range from high – extremely high. There’s no telling how long you’ll be out for so do yourself a favor and wear protection.

 

Wakeboard naked: It’s fun, fast, fresh, AND helps eliminate those awful tan lines you got from swim practice.

 

Roast a pig: I don’t know if you can find one on such short notice, but pig roasts are always a hit., unless you’re a vegetarian, which by the way, isn’t very american of you…

 

Wear the same pair of boardshorts: ALL WEEKEND LONG.

 

Wakesurf: There’s no doubt the lake is going to be totally trashed by all sorts of water vessels, so go ahead and embrace the wave…

 

Rent Top Gun and turn up the volume: The picture says it all…

 

Stand back at least 15-feet: when Frank comes running towards you with a green face and cheeks that are about to explode. Also do the same when setting off fireworks.

 

Make an all-American mixtape: and play it on repeat all weekend. Here’s a few songs to get you started:

Tom Petty: American Girl

Bruce Springsteen: Born in the USA

Kid Rock: American Badass

Don’t even think abut putting Katie Perry’s “firework” on this mix.

 

Sing the national anthem to a crowd of 10 or more: There’s nothing more attractive to a woman than a man who’s not afraid of public speaking / singing. JUst do yourself a favor and read over the words once or twice today at work so you don’t screw up the 6th line in the 2nd verse.

 

And most importantly, don’t forget to wear your red white and blue!

He must workout…

Have a great weekend from everyone at Alliance! Play it hard and play it safe…

3 Responses to “July 4th Checklist”

  1. Jeff Pollack Says:

    Some helpful 4th tips!

     
  2. Brandon Lee Says:

    There should be no renting of Top Gun. Everyone should own it.

     
  3. Matt Hayden Says:

    “just let it hangggg”

     

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