Red Bull’s Urban Invasion
Here’s a new word for you: Stokelituge. It’s a mispronunciation of Parks Bonifay’s term “stokelitude” (as in, “that dude’s stokelitude must be completely off the charts right now”). I thought he said stokelituge, so I’m going with it, and you can feel free to use it too. The term really, really applies to anyone who works for Red Bull , they have a ton of stokelituge.
Case in point is this week’s Urban Invasion, which previously had a working title of Urban "another word similar to invasion", but was changed due to already being owned by some other extreme team . Basically, we have been driving all over the Midwest searching out spots for P.B. and Brian Grubb, as well as a few locals, to winch. And the driving force behind the invasion is a guy named Tom Lebsack, aka Tokyo Cliff. Tokyo Cliff has maybe more stokelituge than any man alive, and it’s a good thing because we needed it for our assault of Omaha and Kansas City (hint: that word is kind of like invasion). I don’t know how many cans of Red Bull T.C. drinks in an average day, but whatever he’d doing, it works and he should keep doing it, because he’s raised everyone else’s stokelituge to what I like to refer to as "Stoke Level Alpha." Thanks Cliff, you’re the hardest working man in the energy drink game … and that’s working damn hard.
Our trip has been about 50/50 on finding hittable spots and avoiding the law, with the most excitement coming during two distinct moments: First was P.B.’s three wave hold down in the spin cycle at the bottom of a spillway in Omaha. That one got out taurine levels pumping for a few minutes. But the absolute capper had to be the Urban Invasion running into a Suburban Resistance in the Forest Glen subdivision – Kyle Walton must have rolled through here during his previous travels and really bummed those people out. Let’s just say that the Suburbanites were a little tougher than we thought, and the beautiful two-tiered, three-step dragon in Overland Park, Kansas has yet to be slayed. Don’t go to sleep Forest Glenn, we may be back.
There have been some heavy spots and some good hits, this is just a sampling of our invasion, which we would really like to call “Ride the Lightning” due to the massive storm we encountered from Omaha to K.C., but that name is probably taken already too. Look for the rest of the story in an upcoming issue of Alliance.
P.S. — Tonight is Staker's 28th birthday at midnight, and I haven't thought of anything to buy him yet. Do you think he wants a cake, or 28 shots of Jack Daniels?