Title: The Do’s and Don’ts of the road.
Road trips, I hate to love them and love to hate them, but regardless, I find myself packing up the car year after year for a new adventure. This past weekend Katy Bakker (my sugartoots), Kip Robbins (just a bud), and I decided to drive to the first tour stop in Acworth, GA, and while in route we decided to formulate a list of suggestions for anyone planning to hit the road in the near future. It goes like this:
– Do listen to your I-pod in alphabetical order from A-Z (at least one artist from each letter of the alphabet)
– Do stop at McDonalds at least once, after all, it is the American way isn’t it?
– Don’t bring any sort of beverage that doesn’t have a cap on it.
– Do have a camera out and ready to shoot at all times. Who knows, you might run into Shawn Watson and Chad Sharpe at a gas station in Southern Georgia.
– Don’t bring a dog that is a nervous wreck in the car.
– Don’t check the clock. It will only remind you of how far away you are.
– Do use map quest
– Don’t trust map quest.
– Do make a sing along mix.
– Don’t be shy to sing along.
– Do try to drive as much as possible; it makes the trip go by faster.
– Don’t sit in the backseat. You’ll only realize how uncomfortable these trips are.
– Do join a speeding convoy.
– Don’t be the last car of the speeding convoy (easiest catch for the speeding ticket).
– Do get behind someone with a radar detector.
– Don’t let them out of your sight.
– Do make a few phone calls to the people who talk a lot.
– Don’t read or type in the car (like I am now). Sickness soon follows.
– Don’t let your girlfriend ride in the front seat.
– Do aeronautical maneuvers with your hand out of the window.
– Do pee on the side of the road at least once.
– Don’t tell anyone you farted.
– Do blame it on the dog that is having a panic attack.
– Do ask at least one car of girls to flash you.
– Do learn to hold your breath for as long as it takes you to pee, this way you can avoid the awful smell of rest stop bathrooms.
– Do play categories.
– Do name the 50 states and capitals.
– Do get gas even if you don’t need it.
Good luck and safe travels!
Jeffrey Mark McKee