They’ve finally done it, Alliance has signed me up for the Orlando Pro Tour stop. They want me to wakeskate in this event, competing against the best of the best. About time, I’ve been wanting to taste a championship and some glory for a while. People wonder what glory and a championship taste like, well, I’ll tell you … it’s like French kissing three beautiful women at the same time. About a month or two ago I had a serious talk with my boy Tony, I was very distraught, “I’m sick of being number two.” Tony replies: “Number two is the new cool.” Not in my book, I want to be a champion, G damnit!
PRESENT TIME — Tony calls to tell me about the Pro Tour news, but it’s in a month. That’s not sufficient time to train. I need at least two months of training, dieting, hair treatment and rehab. How am I supposed to keep my dignity attached? With the help of the South Beach diet and some hard training for 30 days with the best riders in the world I suppose. I’ve decided with their help, this should be a piece of cake, but if it does get hard, I’m not afraid to take candy from a baby. What I’m going to do for all of you riders out there – I’m going to update you on my training and what moves will be the future. I’m not scared … see you boys in a month.