So today was the day I finally got my lazy ass out of my new cave and made the trip out to Clermont to see Parks Bonifay, Danny Harf and Rusty Malinoski. Danny and Rusty bought a house together a few months back, and now Parks bought one just down the street, with little brother Shane as a roommate. We’ve already shown Danny and Rusty’s house on the web, so the pictures are just of Parks’ place because I didn’t want to cause a neighborhood war. (“Oh yeah, well OUR house has been on the website TWICE.”) I have a feeling keeping up with the Jones’ is going to be hard enough out on the lake anyways.
So we’re sitting at P.B.’s place, and his dad, Pete, stops by for the first time to see the new house. Pete Bonifay is not only a really nice man, he’s an interesting man with lots of great stories to tell, and he happens to also be funny as hell. We could do a whole page of quotes in the magazine just from hanging out with him for an hour or a day. He said maybe the funniest thing I have ever heard tonight. Seriously, it may have been. I can’t repeat it of course, but pretty much everyone at our dinner table was choking on their food and crying.
But anyways, here’s the real story: Do you have a crazy uncle? We all do right? Well, Parks and Shane’s Uncle Paul (Pete’s brother) is crazier than any of ours, no matter how many times they’ve been silly drunk at holidays. Pete told the story tonight of when Paul went barefooting at 100 miles per hour. 100 miles per hour … barefooting. Think about that. Do you have any idea how hardcore that is? I mean, that’s basically Travis Pastrana doing a double back flip — back in Paul’s day. If you lose it barefooting at 100 m.p.h. you’re hurting — bad. Pretty much explains exactly why Parks and Shane are good at gnarly stunts. I mean, how would you like your uncle to be calling you a pussy at Thanksgiving and Christmas every year? Enjoy the photos of the new Bonifay house.