Ten observations traveling with Bob Soven:

10. He tries to look the part, but in NO way is he an “Expert Traveler.”

9. The key to getting through security quickly is by flirting with the woman who checks your ID and boarding pass.

8. He will do whatever it takes to get through the security checkpoint quickly. His rule – “If you think it may be metal, chances are it’s metal, especially the zipper on your jeans.” It’s better to be safe than sorry.

7. He leaves his luggage unattended almost always.

6. If you happen to be shorter than 5’6” like Bob, the tray table is a great tool for napping.

5. He gets I.D.’d to sit in exit rows — how the heck is he getting into bars?

4. He is addicted to a website called Chat roulette where you can video chat with random people all across the world. Today he was able to hold the attention of a beautiful Norwegian girl for nearly a half hour before she grew bored and hit next for a new chat partner.

3. He plans his tweets for days ahead of time to ensure that they reach maximum potential.

2.  The only way to keep track of him involves a harness and a leash.

1. He sometimes mistakenly thinks that the landing time at your destination is actually the take-off time at your origin, hence the reason we missed our flight this morning.