Innuendo – How Not To GoPro
Bro, we’re gonna get so many likes! Photo: Cortese
Summer is finally here and while in the old days that meant getting outside as much as possible, these days it means getting outside some and then getting inside to edit the video of you being outside some in order to portray to the world how awesome that time was… some of the time. It’s 2015, you know what we’re talking about. Be honest, you’re in the middle of your next GoPro/Instagram/Snapchat montage right now, aren’t you? You can’t wait to come up with a clever hashtag and possibly start getting stalked by a creepy dude from eastern Europe with “phetish” in his username. But we digress, a good GoPro edit can be a very important part of your summer fun, so we’ve come up with some guidelines to help you avoid the ever present backlash of the Internet trolls. These are the “GoPro Ground Rules”.
These are a great way to get that POV shot that you were dreaming about all winter. But tread lightly with this angle; a splice shot or two is all you need, kids. With any more than two or three you’ll have entered the “NoGo,” zone which very few have made it out from alive. On a side note if this helmet mount happens to be pointed directly at your face at any given time, we strongly suggest you sell your GoPro ASAP and see a psychologist for further analysis. Selfies are one thing, but GoPro video selfies while wakeboarding are asinine.
2. Selfish Stick
Speaking of selfies… riding doubles at the park or behind the boat is always a good time; it can keep your riding fun and also allows for some of the best filming angles with a GoPro. But remember, when you’re out there with the GoPro filming your buddy you’re there to film him, not yourself. Your job is simple: hit record button and keep that camera steady. A little play-by-play can be good/funny, but let’s not go overboard like so many before us have… you’re not Kevin Hart. And yes, your voice does sound weird on video.
3. Water Spots
Are you really diggin’ that artsy water-covered-lens look? Well guess what? No one else is. Keep that shit clean, period.
4. Sink or Film
Were you overly excited to get your GoPro into action and thought it’d be fine without a floaty? This is a very common mistake made on a regular basis. If you think you’re fine without the floaty, you’re wrong. This is a quick way to lose your footage and your camera at the same time. Talk about a summer shred buzzkill. That being said if you’re in the market for a GoPro and have a set of SCUBA gear, it might be worth a trip to the bottom of your local cable park… maybe you can even mount a GoPro on your head while you dive down to recover some…
5. Wide Angle
Although this term is widely recognized thanks to the proliferation of GoPro cameras around the galaxy we’re beginning to think very few “shooters” actually understand what it means. If you’re standing on shore filming your buddy hitting a jump 100 feet away chances are we’re not going to be able to tell what he’s doing. Nobody likes watching a video with a ton of sky, a ton of water, and what looks like an ant repeatedly jumping up and down. Our advice? Get closer! Don’t be scared, toss on a vest, swim out there and get up close and personal. Or ride doubles. The closer you are with that wide angle the better it’s going to look (as long as it’s not on your helmet pointed at your face).
6. The Whole Enchilada
Enchiladas, like GoPro videos, are awesome, but they can be filling. Just because you had the ten best laps of your life at the park last weekend doesn’t mean we want to watch all ten laps. There is nothing worse than a GoPro “edit” put online that doesn’t actually contain any “editing”. You don’t have any excuse, GoPro provides free editing software made specifically to work with your cameras and footage, so start using it. Trust us, less is more. You can take the enchilada leftovers and feed them to the dog, he’ll be stoked.