Innuendo – Wake Mistakes
“Say cheeeeeeseeee!” art by Wes Jacobsen
Progression is awesome, right? The level or riding in wake seems to constantly be on the rise these days. But there is a downside. Pressure. From the up-and-coming riders to the top pros, that pressure can come it hot and heavy like an overworked circus elephant. And like said elephants, that pressure can make even the most seasoned of veterans do some weird shit. So weird at times it might even be considered career suicide. We’ve all heard stories about these types of things; many of us have seen them firsthand. Unfortunately some have even been involved in them (hopefully not you).
We’re really not sure where these ideas come from, but to think some of these ideas actually get put into motion and executed is somewhat unfathomable. We’re not here to point fingers ‘cause everyone has done a few things they regret. Just think of this as general guideline to hopefully deter you from ever letting these terrible ideas grow into more than a bad idea.
Fakin’ the funk
Nothing is more disrespectful and self destructive than faking a photo. To think this has actually occurred in the wake scene is sad. There have been a few instances in the past where “staged” photos have been published where a rider actually took the time to make it look real. Why would you do something like that? But what scares us even more is that you actually have friends who were willing to help you and not put a stop to the whole production…
Sponsors on lock
Do you have a board full of sponsors that you really like letting everyone know about? Well then good for you, but when it really comes down to it lying to everyone or making it seem like you’re making a good living off of these companies really drops your value as a rider. Not to mention it also gives kids coming up a really false sense of how the industry works. Support companies that support you; no more, no less. And if you own a Red Bull helmet purchased off eBay… eh, never mind, it’s already too late.
Cash, Gas or Ass
Do you like showing up to ride with any of the following?
A) A lack of gas? Good luck on getting another invite to ride behind that boat again. Saying you’re just going to take a quick ride is pretty much the same as a middle finger to the face.
B) Multiple friends? Ask before you invite your whole crew. No one likes sitting in the boat watching your asshat friends practice surface 180s. Ricky, Tommy and Timmy are big boys, they can find their own place to ride.
C) Your girlfriend? We know you like bringing your lady everywhere with you. But unless she brings a hot friend or two the only person gaining anything is you. Don’t be selfish: Bros before hoes.
D) Lack of boat etiquette? You really don’t give a shit about your boat, eh? Guess what, not everyone thinks like that. So unless you want to get tossed overboard at sea, take those damn shoes off and leave your razor-blade dagger fins in the knife block.
All Up in the Studio
If a brand approaches you about shooting an “action” shot that doesn’t involve actually riding your board… we have a problem. If a brand wants you to strap-in in the studio for this great idea they have that should set off your “Whack Alarm” real quick. Wakeboarding is sick as is, why would you need to fake it in the studio? Sure, it’d be hard to turn down some cash, but you gotta have some respect for yourself. Show them what real riding looks like and convince those corporate dummies to use a real shot. Save the studio action for your next mixtape. Unless you’re shooting a wakesurf ad, that is, ‘cause no one really cares about those anyway.
Check out me girlfriend
Are you the type that really likes posting up risqué photos of your new babe for the world to see? First of all good for you, nice work on picking up a looker. Now comes the tough part: refraining from posting bikini/booty shots of her up on your social media accounts. Of course you’re proud of your new babe, we get it, but giving all your bros an “inside” look really isn’t doing much for you or her. As a wise man once said, “That doesn’t leave much for the imagination”. But it does leave your homies with some good content for… you get the idea.