JUNE 2019 | Innuendo – “What’s up, guys?!”
The vlog life isn’t as glamorous as it seems… (photo: Miller)
Vlogs are rapidly beginning to take over the world and it got me thinking, is this a good thing? Not in my opinion. There’s a 99% chance if your video starts with the phrase “What’s up guys?” then I’m going to turn it off immediately. That phrase usually leads into a lot of information that I could care less about. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure there are plenty of very informative vlogs out there that serve a purpose. But that’s not what we’re talking about here.
Videos make up a big portion of the base of wakeboarding as well as every other action sport. That’s how it all starts – you saw a video of someone wakeboarding and thought to yourself, “Wow, that looks like fun,” so you gave it a try. For those of you that saw it in person for the first time, there’s a good chance you grabbed your phone and/or computer right afterwards to watch some videos to supply the stoke. Vlogs do not supply stoke, they actually do the opposite. If you kill it on a wakeboard, I want to see you kill it on a wakeboard. I don’t care what you’re having for breakfast, what you do on your off days or anything in between. Give me the shred or give me death!
So for those of you who are tickling the fine line between wakeboarder and vlogger, we have created a list of early signs and symptoms that you are unknowingly already a vlogger:
- Every time you unlock your phone, the camera is already open and pointed directly at your face.
- Your parents keep asking you, “Who are you talking to in there?”
- On the rare occasion you talk to someone in person, you always end the conversation with, “Don’t forget to like and subscribe!”
- You find it hard to enjoy life without documenting it for your “fans”. If it didn’t get filmed, it didn’t happen, right?
- You find it hard to sleep at night knowing your last episode had less than 1,000 views.
- You have a list of episode ideas in your iPhone notes.
- Every time you pull out your camera, your “non-vlog” friends (aka “normies”) avoid you like the plague.
- On the other hand, when you get your camera out, you’re immediately surrounded by other vloggers as if they were summoned by the power of the vlog.
- You find it difficult to make fun of vloggers because deep down you feel connected to them
- You find yourself randomly waking up at night yelling, “WHAT’S UP, GUYS?!”. Terrifying …