Finally an exercise routine fit for wakers! That’s right, it’s called critical mass and it only happens once a month right here in Orlando Florida. Don’t let the name fool you, it has nothing to do with church and it even ends with beer. Not that there’s anything wrong with church, it’s just not an appropriate place to work out.

This was the first time I had ever really involved myself in this type of community event and let me tell you, I will be there next time. It all started when I got my first V-neck, then DVS started sending me the tight jeans so I figured I had to complete the look and get myself a road bike (not a fixed gear track bike, a road bike). All I need now is a real shitty looking style mullet and Jean shorts I would officially be the epitome of an Orlando hipster / scenester.

Along for the ride were my two Crucial Bro’s Walt and Shane from Rollins college, and then guess who else showed up out of the blue? None other than Chris Heavener, my predecessor to “completely pointless but sometimes a little bit entertaining” articles in the back of the magazine that always seem to blend in with all those really bad quarter page advertisements in black and white because color was a little out of the budget range. Whew…that was a lot of info for one sentence.

Back to the topic at hand, you’ll never see so many goofy bikes in your life, and you’ll never fel so satisfied as when you ride through downtown and literally rule the streets. Stop light’s don’t apply along with pretty much every other rule of the road. When you’re rolling with 200 + of orlando’s most unique looking individuals, you pretty much get what you want as long as you promise that you’ll be gone in a few more minutes.

Official Lowdown;

Critical Mass? – look it up on myspace or something – I’m pretty sure it’s a nationwide deal.

When and where? – Every last Friday of every month. Orlandinians meet at Loch Haven park by the Orlando science center at 5:30 PM.

Status? – Very Hot.

Hip? – No, Cutting edge. 

Why – 10 miles of rebellion and complete self satisfaction followed by a keg of beer.

See you there…