September 30th, 2011 by alliance




We just received this anonymous e-mail here at the office from some people who claim to be the “twitter police.” Apparently they are unhappy about a few things and wanted to dish out a few warnings. Here is what they had to say… 


“Using your twitter account to post inappropriate and useless information can be a major crime not only against yourself, but against your fan base as well. You don’t have to tweet just because you “haven’t tweeted in almost a week.” Wait till you have something really great to say and drop that shit like a bomb onto your followers. They’ll appreciate it and more than likely, they’ll “retweet.” No one ever got “unfollowed” for not tweeting enough, but tweet too much and the #’s will start to dwindle. Why do you think we stopped following Gary Busy and Andrew Adkison? Consider below your first warning, next time it’ll cost you…

-Twitter Police



O.K., first of all, what is the pearl? Second, where are you putting it? Also, why is Hayley Smith getting involved? To us this all seems way too private to be broadcasting to your 1000+ followers. Unless you decide to give them a time and place so they can get involved, this stuff is better kept private.




Marc, we’ve all seen your eye and that shit is gross! Where have you been putting your face lately? Regardless, twitter is not a place for negativity. No one is looking to get bummed or feel bad for another when logging on, so please, just let us know when it’s fixed so we can finally hang out again…





Using the term “homie” when tweeting is a major crime. The only thing anyone ever got from calling another person “homie”  is shot and possibly killed. Yes we understand Phil wants everyone to know that he has a famous country star friend who plays golf all day and ignores phone calls  from the peons and peasants he has met along the way, but this whole tweet seems a bit too desperate. Judging by the 5.5 million plays on his new music video “Barefoot Blue Jean Night,” We’re sure Jake Owen will be just fine without Phil’s $13 purchase of his CD.





J.D. has been getting REALLY serious about weight loss lately. He also posts articles about single working moms and all sorts of ways to make over 5K a day working from home. His phone might be the only thing in the world that is more infected than Marc Rossiter’s eye. J.D., we understand you like to twitter in every part of the world from as many devices as possible, but you must use protection. We feel like we’re going to get the virus now too just because we follow one another.




Seriously, why don’t the two of you just go down to the food court at the Mall and make out for like 3 hours straight while people are trying to scarf down chinese food and Sbarro’s pizza slices. PDA’s are a big issue and there’s no place more public than social media sites like twitter and facebook. Tonguing your chick in the mall only last’s 3 hours, but this tweet lasts a lifetime. Imagine what it’s doing to all your young teenage girl fans…





Sorry to do this Steel, but here we have another offense: This one seems dangerous because there are definitely some people in the Atlanta airport looking to make $100. In fact, there are people working there ALL DAY who don’t even make that. If they’ll mop the piss off the floor for $90 a day, imagine what they’d do to you for an extra $100. Seems sketchy and weird…Are you some kind of weirdo?




Wow! Really!? Isn’t this what EVERY wakeboarder and wakeskater does ALL DAY? We think so, and for this reason it is unnecessary information. It’s like going to work and then throwing up a tweet that says “workin'”. You’ve just wasted your time and ours with this extremely anti climatic piece of information…You should never tweet just to tweet, make sure that you are always broadcasting valuable information.





O.K., do we really need to say anything here? From the looks of it your followers have already ripped you a new on for this but come on guys, best friend cruise? Apparently Adam just bought the house next door to Jimmy now too…This sounds scary close to a domestic partnership. We wouldn’t be surprised if they start trimming each others bushes and whacking each others weeds soon too. Ha!


Until next time, keep it between the lines!”

4 Responses to “Twitter Police”

  1. hmmm. Says:

    you should call this rejected tweets, not twitter police… and change your site name to YOBEAT wake..

  2. steveP Says:

    someone should call the twitter police on the twitter police. talkin crap about people and their pointless tweets when all they have done is waste the day looking at pointless tweets. you guys are lame! come on alliance give us something important… something wake related would be nice!

  3. Andrew Adkison Says:

    Yes!!! I finally got mentioned in an Alliance Article and in the same sentence as Gary Busy. That’s what I’m talking about!!! Can’t wait to retweet this! I might just have to start following you guys again.

  4. Tex Says:

    What’s a homie have to do to get a mention with Busey? Nice work Adkinson!


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